Don't be selfish
by The Inner Turmoil
Summary: Pain and suffering are near impossible to bare alone. Even in the presence of others, it can often times feel as though it's not enough. However, when you're feeling as though your existence means nothing, sometimes you just have to remember. It may not mean much to you, but it means something to those you surround yourself with.


**I take no credit for some of the words used in this story. I came across a Facebook post with a screenshot from Tumblr. In it, there was this line about about suicide, and the response to it was moving and beautifully written. I tried to find the real source, but came across quite a few potentials, so whomever originally crafted these words. Thank you.**

 **And for those of you reading this, yes, this is an angsty story, but it does have a silver lining, so I urge that you read and review.**

 **RWBY**

 **One Shot**

 **Don't be selfish**

 _If I killed myself tonight, the stars would still shine. The sun would still rise, the earth would still rotate. The seasons would still change...so why not?_

Those were the words that have been running through her head all week. The past few months had been nothing short of agonizingly painful. Her mother was gone, killed in some other country that she'd only ever heard of in text books. She was 'doing her duty' as she called it, and promised to come back. But she hadn't. She was gone, and already seemingly replaced after such a short amount time by an old love come to help comfort them.

But she can't comfort everyone.

So here she stood, standing atop the school during the latest hours of the night. She'd left home without so much as a word. Only a poorly written note stained by tears that, probably wasn't even legible at this point. That's all she's done the past few months. She'd cry, and cry, cry, seemingly endlessly, day in and day out. Her friends and family were getting sick of it. At least, as far as she could tell. It was always easier just telling yourself that nobody cared about you. That they only wanted to help you so they wouldn't have to deal with your sadness or pain any longer. After all, putting someone back together was exhausting, but leaving them be and dealing with the broken peices separately was even worse.

She could just jump and this would all be over.

Closing her eyes. Taking a deep breath, she stepped forward and let the darkness over take her.

* * *

 _If I killed myself tonight, the stars would still shine. The sun would still rise, the earth would still rotate. The seasons would still change...so why not?_

 _You want a why not? How about the way your best friend will sit at your lunch table, staring blankly at your old seat, just wishing you were still there?_

The news quickly spread throughout the entirety of the school. Everyone was in shock, either desperately trying to understand what had happened, or trying to deny it all together. After all, there was no way the cheeriest person with the brightest smile would ever stoop to something like this. Yet, deep down, they all knew. They all saw the signs. The way that smile stopped reaching her eyes. The way her boundless energy seemed to disappear, slowly, day by day.

Blake knew. This was real.

So, here she was, sitting at their usual lunch table, idly picking at her food with a fork. It was cold, untouched. She hadn't eaten properly in a few days, since the news of the incident. She'd known the morning after it happened, and burst into tears the very second the words left her families mouths. She looked over, staring at the empty seat across from her. No one dared to sit there. Nora didn't talk nearly as much, seemingly out of her normal energy. Almost like she was now dead inside. Ren just stared blankly at the table, almost like he was frozen in time. Yang and Weiss sat on either side of the seat, shaking and fighting back tears, trying to distract themselves with food. The seat was now almost like a hazard.

She was normally the more calm and stoic one of the group. But she couldn't pretend that everything was OK. That they'd get through this quickly. She couldn't keep the mask up any longer, and let the tears silently fall.

This shouldn't have happened.

* * *

 _How about the way your mother will cry every time she looks at herself in the mirror and pictures herself bringing you home?_

She wasn't meant to take her place. Hell, she didn't even want to. She came in trying to help mend things, not tear them further apart. She was her best friend, and she loved her friends daughter as if she were her very own. Every time she closed her eyes, every time she slept, or even looked in the mirror, all she could picture was her failure. How she had let her best friend down. Thinking about the days she took her daughter and step-daughter to school everyday, and bring them home directly after. She saw the signs, but damnit, she just couldn't do anything! Nothing was enough, and she hated herself for it. Somehow, part of this had to be her fault. She couldn't look Taiyang in the eyes out of fear. The guilt just gnawed away at her, and she didn't know what his eyes would reflect. Sadness? Anger at her for not doing enough? For trying to replace something so irreplaceable? She didn't know, and didn't want to.

Curling herself up into a ball, sitting atop her bed in the Xiao Long/Rose household, she sobbed, loud and uncensored.

 _How about the way your fathers eyes will NEVER stop mirroring the image of your destroyed body?_

As she sobbed, she was startled by the feeling of a hand at her back, rubbing soothing circles around it. It was calming, but it didn't help. Nothing would at this point but time. She could hear his soothing words echoing in her ears over the sounds of her sobbing.

"It's OK." he would say, pulling her into a firm hug, almost enough to squeeze every last breath out of her. As though he were afraid that she would be next. She gripped his shirt tightly and hesitantly, looked up. She stared into his eyes, and what she saw wasn't anger.

Taiyang didn't blame Raven. He didn't blame anybody but himself. The only thing flashing through his mind, every time he'd close his eyes, were images of his beloved daughter battered and broken on the pavement. If he had been just a little faster, or smarter, he could've read the signs. Could've found her quicker, known where she was going.

But he failed.

He failed as a person, failed as a guardian. He failed as her father, and that truth tore through him. Holding onto Raven, he wept with her, not knowing if they could ever truly recover from this.

* * *

 _How about the way your girlfriend sits in your room in silence, wearing your cloak, trying to imprint its smell into your skin so she won't ever forget your scent?_

Weiss had been there with Taiyang when found her girlfriend lying dead on the pavement. She didn't see the girls lifeless body. She didn't have the strength to. She couldn't bring herself to open her eyes, or uncover her ears, even as the sounds of the ambulance broke through. She tried desperately to help her, but nothing seemed to work. She just watched as her girlfriend slowly destroyed herself.

She sat alone in the girls old bedroom, wrapped up in the red cloak that the dolt adored so much. It was so strange, how she would always wear it to school everyday. Yet now, she couldn't bare to get rid of it herself. Taiyang had let her in, saying she could keep it, as they had the cross that she wore on her belt to keep her memory alive. He said "She'd want you to have it." as he choked on each word.

Weiss wasn't a strong person. She put up a strong front, but when nobody was looking, she cracked and let everything out. But not when Ruby was around. When she was around, she didn't need the mask, or the ice around her heart. She could let everything free without fear. But now? That ice had made a permanent cage around her no longer lively heart. She wrapped herself in the cloak tighter, desperately urging it to take Ruby's form.

But it never did.

* * *

 _How about the way your sister will wake up every morning and see your door, and convince herself that you could still be there, sleeping in your bed?_

Even after a few days, Yang still could't convince herself that this was real. Every morning, she'd wake up, feeling dead inside. Yet she would pass by her bedroom door and have the urge to knock, thinking that she's still in there, sleeping soundly after staying up so late talking to Weiss. All it would take is a knock and Ruby would be inside, urging her to go away and let her sleep. She slowly knocked on the door.

Once.

Twice.

Three Times.

Yet each time, she got no answer. She was choking on her tears, urging them not to fall. This wasn't real. She was just in a very deep sleep and needed coaxing. She put on a smile and burst through the door, ready to whip her sister out of bed to start the day with gusto.

But what she did was fall to her knees at seeing the empty, neatly made bed that hadn't been touched in days. She pulled at the carpeting, desperately crying out to whatever god looked upon them to bring her back. To put her back in that bed to continue living. But each time she looked up, she still saw nothing but an empty bed. She clutched at her sides, shutting her eyes to hide the image of that cursed bed and she screamed.

* * *

"If I killed myself tonight, the stars would still shine. The sun would still rise, the earth would still rotate. The seasons would still change...so why not?"

"Don't you dare tell me it won't change things."

Ruby stopped dead in her tracks, just an inch away from the edge. That voice. She shouldn't be here, she shouldn't have found her. But the arms that quickly wrapped themselves around her waist, yanking her away from the edge told her that she had. She found herself up against the wall. She looked up into tear-filled, ice blue eyes.

"W-Weiss?"

"There may be stars in the sky and wind in the air and sun in the clouds, but without you we don't want them!" The girl screamed, pulling her into a hug so strong, even Yang would be proud. Ruby felt tears running down her cheeks, and her heart hurt. She couldn't stop herself from returning the embrace just as strong, as though she would fall if she let go. They both cried, hiccuping and choking as Weiss whispered reassuring words and 'I love you's into her ears.

"Don't you dare be selfish enough to believe you aren't important to us."

From that moment on, she wouldn't.


End file.
